Empathy has become such a buzzword, hasn’t it? We hear it thrown around all the time. So naturally, when we came across Joseph Cope, we had to talk to him directly. The question was nagging at us; why would someone make empathy their entire career? What could he possibly have to say that we haven’t already heard? Well, turns out, quite a lot!

Our conversation with Joseph left us with our minds blown! Not only did he break down what true empathy looks like, he challenged us to rethink everything we thought we knew about understanding others. For him, empathy isn’t about feeling bad for someone, it’s a practice, a way of life, and an essential tool for peacebuilding. When we sat down with Joseph to talk about empathy beyond judgment, we uncovered some seriously powerful insights into how this simple, deeply human ability, can transform the way we engage with conflict and each other.

Seeing the Human Before the Conflict

"At the heart of every conflict is a story," Joseph tells us. "And at the heart of every story is a person who wants to be understood."

Too often, we focus on what separates us, politics, religion, ideology, history. We get caught up in the arguments, the sides, the debate. And in today’s world, where the internet gives us the freedom to unleash our opinions without consequence, it’s even easier to forget that there’s a human being on the other side of the screen, someone with lived experiences that shaped their views. But Joseph, he really pushes back on this. He believes that peace begins when we make a conscious decision to see the person before the position.

"It’s easy to judge when you don’t take the time to understand. But when you listen, really listen, you realize that the person on the other side of the argument is just like you. They have fears, they have hopes, they have struggles."

Empathy as a Bridge, Not a Barrier

Empathy does not mean agreement. Joseph is pretty clear about this. It means allowing ourselves to step into someone else’s experience, even when it’s uncomfortable.

"When we practice empathy beyond judgment, we create abridge instead of reinforcing barriers. It doesn’t mean we excuse harm or avoid accountability, it means we take the time to understand why people do what they do."

He shares a story of two young men from opposing communities who were part of a dialogue he facilitated. "They walked into the space with their arms crossed, their walls up. They had been raised to see each other as enemies. But when they shared stories of loss, one lost a brother to violence, the other lost his father, they saw each other’s pain. They stopped seeing each other as ‘the other’ and instead as fellow humans carrying grief."

This shift in perspective didn’t erase the history of their communities, but it gave them a new foundation to build from, one rooted in shared humanity, not division.

How Do We Move Beyond Judgment?

Joseph believes that moving beyond judgment requires intentional practice. Here are a few ways he suggests we can cultivate empathy in our own lives and in peacebuilding work:

• Listen to Learn, Not to Respond
  "We're quick to react, to defend, to argue. But when was the last time you listened without preparing a response? Practice listening with curiosity instead of critique."

• Be Willing to Be Uncomfortable
  "Empathy isn't always easy. It asks us to sit in discomfort, to hear things that challenge our beliefs, to witness pain without turning away. But discomfort is where growth happens."

• Recognize Your Own Biases
  "We all carry biases. The key is to be aware of them. Ask yourself: 'Am I seeing this person as a full human being, or am I defining them by a label?'"

• Ask More Questions, Make Fewer Assumptions
  "Instead of assuming you know someone's story, ask them. 'What's important to you?' 'What shaped your views?' 'What do you wish people understood about you?' You'd be surprised how much people will share when they feel safe to do so.

Empathy in Action: What This Means for Peacebuilding

At Kahanee, storytelling is at the heart of our peacebuilding work. Joseph’s approach aligns deeply with our mission, to bring voices to the table, not just to speak, but to be heard. His insights remind us that peace isn’t just built through policies or negotiations; it’s built through human connection.

"If you want to create peace, start with one conversation where you choose empathy over judgment," he says. "Because peace doesn’t begin at the negotiation table. It begins in the small, everyday choices we make to see and hear each other."

So, we leave this conversation with a challenge: Who in your life have you judged before you’ve truly listened? What story have you dismissed before you’ve understood? What bridge can you build today?

Because peace starts with empathy, and empathy starts with us.